How Do You Know
If You Need A Therapist?
Table
of Contents
Where
Do You Turn?
How
Can a Therapist Help?
What
Others Kinds of Help Are Available to You?
Why Seek Help
From a Therapist?
Who Are The Different
Kinds of Therapists?
How Can You Find a Therapist?
What Should You Do Now?
Where
Do You Turn If You're Thinking:
| "Things
in my life are getting out of control, and I feel helpless." |
| "There
is no one I can talk to about my worries and problems." |
|
"I
feel like I'm in a rut."
|
| "I
can't get my child to behave." |
| "I
am afraid of the panic I sometimes feel." |
| "I
am unhappy and I don't know why." |
| "I
keep having the same kinds of unhappy relationships." |
| "My
marriage is falling apart." |
| "I
can't stop thinking about killing myself." |
| "I
wonder if my child might be sexually abused." |
| "I
was raped, and now I'm upset all the time." |
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How
Can A Therapist Help?
Sometimes
we may feel very alone with our feelings. We may believe we
will have the same feelings forever. We may be afraid if we
start crying we won't be able to stop. Or if we get really
angry, we will lose control and kill someone. If we let our
feelings out, we may feel we, or someone else, will be destroyed.
Therapists
help people learn to express their feelings safely.
"I
was afraid to try anything new. I felt a strong urge to
like myself better and accomplish something in life. After
talking with my therapist, I am aware of my possibilities
to grow and achieve in life."
You can
feel differently about yourself and your life. A therapist
can help you overcome your fears. You can discover you are
not weird after all!
"I
felt completely out of control. Keeping the house clean
and the kids amused was overwhelming. I was lashing out
physically and in words at those I loved, and I was shrinking
inside.
Now,
with the help of my therapist, I'm becoming more calm, and
understanding what sets me off. I'm seeing what needs to
be changed, and doing that slowly."
"Knowing
it's OK to have faults helps a lot. Therapy is teaching
me to stop pushing pain away, to face it and get past it
after I've felt it."
With the
help of a therapist, you may discover a new view of yourself
and others. You may discover you have more choices than you
ever dreamed!
"I
was very busy with a stressful job. I felt angry a lot of
the time, and weighed 267 pounds. I was disorganized and
tired, and slept most of the time. Nothing was going right.
Getting
into therapy has enabled me to be more organized. I can
deal with day-to-day crises better, and I can see when I'm
getting off track in time to do it differently."
Perhaps
you feel there is something missing in you. Professional therapists
help people face the difficulties in life with resources they
didn't know they had. Therapists know that sometimes even
competent, creative people need help.
You can
learn, in therapy, how to give to yourself, and receive from
others, what you need. You can learn to trust. You can learn
how loveable you really are.
"I
was confused. I didn't know how to handle my feelings of
anger and sadness. I did things that didn't help.
"I
started seeing a psychologist when I got so depressed after
separating from my husband. Now I can still have moments
of despair and confusion, but I have slowly learned to trust
my strong feelings, and even to communicate them. I trust
that I can take care of myself and enjoy and respect who
I am. I can take risks and not beat myself up if I don't
succeed. I'm pretty happily married now, and able to be
a good parent."
Maybe
you are facing a crisis. Maybe you just feel like you need
to change something in your life. Therapists are people who
can understand and support you.
What Other
Kinds Of Help Are Available?
Here
are some things that other people have done:
| Self-Improvement
Reading |
If
you like to read, there are many self-improvement
books, and articles in magazines.
|
|
Self-Development
Lectures or Talks or Workshops
|
Some
peoples' lives have been transformed by listening
to talk or lectures.
|
| Religious
Help |
Perhaps
you have a minister, priest, or rabbi you can talk
with.
|
| Family
Members |
Many
people have been helped by talking with close friends
or family members.
|
| Company
Programs |
Maybe
there is a program available through your place of
work which offers someone trained in counseling.
|
| Support
Groups |
Maybe
you can find a "support group" of people
who are dealing with problems similar to yours, and
who meet to help each other. Examples include Alcoholics
Anonymous, Parents Without Partners, National Academy
for Child Development, Narcotics Anonymous, and others.
Some of these groups have professional leaders and
some do not.
|
| Reduce
Stress |
Many
people have lessened their fears, crises, and problems
by taking a vacation, learning yoga, exercising, getting
professional therapeutic massages, or even just concentrating
on doing better at work.
|
Why
Seek Help From A Therapist?
Maybe
you have already tried some other kinds of help and they didn't
work. Perhaps they don't appeal to you. What is the advantage
of seeking help from a therapist?
Therapists
are professionally trained in listening, communicating, and
assisting people in getting what they want and need. Family
members are not, and, even though they love you, they may
know only a few options to solve your problem. Trained therapists
provide many more options.
In
therapy, the professional you talk with can help you know
your truth. The therapist will listen and help you stick to
the subject.
The
therapist will keep all your secrets. The therapist does not
talk to your friends or family - unless you request it.
The
therapist will not lecture you, will not say, "I told
you so," and will not get angry or overwhelmed by what
you say or express. The therapist maintains a safe place for
you to express all your feelings.
Yet,
the therapist does not take care of you. Instead you learn
to take care of, and care about, yourself.
Therapists
are objective. The therapist genuinely cares about you, but
is not emotionally involved. That sense of distance helps
you get a new perspective on yourself.
Therapy
goes beyond any other kind of help because it challenges you
to:
-
face,
and learn about, yourself
-
learn
what you want and need
- learn
what is preventing you from being happier
- go beyond
the point where you feel "stuck"
Who Are
The Different Kinds of Therapists?
What do
all those different titles you've heard really mean? There are
many kinds of mental health therapists who have professional
training.
Psychologists
are doctors with approximately 9 years of college education
who have specialized in psychology and have additional training
in working with individuals and groups.
Psychiatrists
are doctors with approximately 8 years of college who have specialized
in medicine, can prescribe drugs, and have additional training
in psychology.
Both psychologists
and psychiatrists are licensed by state examining boards. Doctors
who have not passed the state-level exams in psychology cannot
legally call themselves psychologists.
Social workers
with a Master's Degree (M.S.W.) have about 6 years of college
education, including courses in counseling.
Religious
counselors, hpynotherapists, and other counselors usually have
some training in counseling. You need to ask about their training.
What do
good therapists all have in common? Usually the most helpful
therapists combine professional training and experience with
a talent for helping people.
Differences
exist not only in training, experience, and expertise, but also
in personality and techniques. You will need to find a therapist
who has expertise in working with your particular kind of problem
and with whom you feel comfortable.
How Can
You Find A Therapist?
The first
step is deciding that you want to seek help from a therapist.
Just knowing that help is available can be a big relief.
The second
step is to locate a therapist. You can:
- Look
in the yellow Pages under
"Marriage, Family, Child, and Individual Counselors,"
or
"Psychiatrists," or "Psychologists," or
"Social Workers,"
- Ask around
among your friends.
- Call
referral services for professional associations such as:
| Washington
State Psychological Association, Seattle |
(206)
547-4220 |
| Washington
State Psychiatric Association, Seattle |
(360)
357-4648 |
- Call
agencies, which deal with problems like yours. For example
if you have been sexually victimized, call:
| King
County Sexual Assault Resource Center, Crisis Line |
(800)
825-7273 |
| Harborview
Sexual Assault Center, Seattle |
(206)
223-3047 |
- Call
other referral agencies. For example:
| Crisis
Clinic, Seattle |
(206)
461-3222 |
| Community
Information Line |
(206)
467-3200 |
- Ask your
physician or religious leader.
You can
call a therapist and ask about training, experience, and expertise.
Then you can decide whether to continue with that therapist,
or look around some more.
What Should
You Do Now?
Therapists
believe that people can be helped, no matter what problems they
confront, not matter how hopeless they feel.
By investigating,
calling, and asking questions, you can find a therapist who
meets your particular needs. Taking the first step to find that
person may make you feel better because you will be starting
to take control of your life and asserting that you are worth
health and happiness.
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